I dunno what's with me lately.
Could it be I stop working?
Could it be the fact that I've stop earning income?
Could it be the amount of attention I've been getting that I'm not satisfied with?
Could it be I've become some ill brat who is just an attention seeker?
Could it be I am already someone who is so dependent on someone else?

I dunno.
Lately it's either I didn't really have a good night sleep or I wake up still feeling tired.
Lately it's either I went to bed after worning myself up or I cried to sleep for no good reasons.

I think I'm crazy.
Why am I becoming someone I dun even know and yet sees the alikeness of myself to someone else I have no good feelings for?

Don't assume you think you know who I am referring to unless you ask me.

I am now hugging my big Garfield,wanting to drop a tear or two.
But why should I?
Crying for no reasons?
Or am I just feeling sorry for myself?
But again..what's the rationale behind it?

I dunno,man.
I really have no notion!
I just feel like sitting in a dark corner and cry to sleep.
I feel that noone really cares coz they are all busy doing their own things but I know this aint the truth.
I just want to find an excuse to accuse,so maybe I feel better?

But false accusation is a sin.

Lately my temper hasn't been too good.
Sometimes I feel really irritated by the lil things in life and this may cause some unpleasant notes b/w me and my brothers.
Sometimes I know I'm not right..But I am just looking for an outlet to release.

Venting of emotions is too a sin.

Sometimes i wonder why do I blog?
Why do I wanna let Jason read my blog.Coz sometimes it feels as good as noone is reading it.

See..Malignation is a big sin.

Right now..I am trying hard to swallow my tears.
I know..I am gonna cry again tonight.

Izzit the longer your relationship gets by,the higher the likelihood that ur partner would take small things in life and/or you for granted?

Does Jason belongs to one of them?
I had half of my mind saying yes but I think it's a no too.
Compared to what I've seen/heard,I still think Jason is a wonderful bf.
But why do I think of answering Yes?

Most likely it ain't his fault,i think.

I always think maybe it's my increasing dependence on him.
Maybe it's me who is just annoyingly spoilt and such a unadorable attention seeker.
Maybe it's my melancholic personality that tends to act up at the wrong time.

And I'm also worry that one day he will ...I dunno.
Often I fear the day of him finding me freaking annoying,stupid,silly,being so dependent on him etc.
I dunno why do I think of that.

But...
I know that should the day come,I wont be that stupid girl anymore.
I will wipe my tears and leave.

Even though that doesn't mean I would stop crying but at least you wont see me cry anymore.

Freak!
Why am I typing all these?

See..Sometimes I just get very...stupid,y'see.

Really stupid.
Think I won't cry sleeping tonight..coz I already did just now.

Smile...=)